Y Thursday, October 29, 2009

12:49 am

Had my maiden basketball game, I mean yeah, not any good at it, but like I said, I've been blessed.

See, where asian physiques are concerned, it's hard to get a better one for basketball *laughs*. I mean, okay, I don't know how the goddamned game goes, I don't know the rules, but I still managed to actually stay slightly less than semi-useful.

Fine, I exaggerated, I was next to useless LOL. But still, it was fun!

I mean you KNOW there's something up when you can do stuff like touching the ball without jumping and trying while everyone's trying to leap into the air for it. It's hilarious. I've never appreciated this vertical advantage until now.

There was a stout guy, pretty big. He went in for the layup, and well, I wasn't exactly paying attention, so I just stood there and looked at him. Now I don't know if he was trying to swim past me or just plain didn't see me, but we collided and next thing I know he's off balance and lost the ball ROFL.

Funny as hell, and all I did was stand there.

Scored one basket, and by some flukes I had some nice moves. Very fun and satisfying.

Chemistry tuition's hell, but it's getting better and I can feel my mind sharpening.

Fly, fly my sadness.

Y Wednesday, October 28, 2009

12:50 pm

I sentence you to death.

Y Monday, October 26, 2009

10:16 pm

There's been some weird shit on my tagbox which I deleted. Some unknown person with a weird link. Do not click that fucking shit.

Oh yeah I'm going to leave the other shit there because well, it's funny to read.

Before I forget, an addition to the men and 3 moods thing. MC pointed out men should have four, the fourth one being horny.

Happy, mad, horny and don't give a fuck. Eh, I'd say keep it at 3, but horny's fine.

I think I'm at #4 now, or at least transitioning there from #2, lmfao.

Y Friday, October 23, 2009

11:14 pm

Draining. Simply draining, but strangely satisfying.

4 hours of hardcore chemistry with this new tutor guy is insane. He chugs at a crazy pace, but it's systematic and you do really get everything that's going on. Kinda like a vampire, you just feel like crap later, but you KNOW you've done a lot of shit.

Caught He's Just Not That Into You at mc's place after tuition, god that shit is hella funny. I don't really expect women to be like that in reality, I mean it's the 21st century, all that feminism and women's emancipation thing makes it impossible. Still, it was funny to watch and who knows, I've been surprised at the kind of people that exist before, so maybe they do.

It's hilarious how they manage to twist every little thing a guy does into some sign of interest, and the infinite number of justifications they have for a guy who doesn't call.

But seriously? If ya ask me, give it four days. If a guy doesn't call that's that. Not interested!

Of course they gave it a typical happy Hollywood ending that all rom coms have, having said that, some of the stuff that's said in the film's pretty true. Don't be needy, and play it cool. People want what they can't get. After all, forbidden fruit tastes best.

MC bought the ending, saying it happens if the two people were really meant for each other and are in love etc. Couldn't really bring myself to believe that. Quite frankly the prospect of a long term relationship of commitment and all that heart ache and heart break scares me, let alone marriage.

Yes, when guys get married, it IS game over.

Funny film is funny!

EDIT:

I just came across this and it was extremely amusing.

"MEN have 3 Feelings... HAPPY, MAD, & DON'T GIVE A F*CK. P*ssies have feelings like melancholy, existentialism, depression, romantic feelings."

So quotable.

Y Thursday, October 22, 2009

9:18 pm

Fire and Ice
by Robert Frost

Some say the world will end in fire
Some say in ice
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire
But if it had to perish twice
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

So fire or ice?

Unlike Robert Frost, I believe if you truly wish to destroy a relationship, an end by ice is the most final and painful way to go. I don't agree that hate would be an icy attribute though, if I read it right.

It's indifference.

The icy floes of indifference extinguish even the fiercest fires of passion, the wildest conflagrations of love, and the most malicious of hate sparks.

3:01 pm

Alright so I'm $55 lighter, but it HAD to be done. A mouse which scrolls by itself isn't co-operating.

I don't really like this new mouse, a Razer Krait. I mean sure it's precise and all but it's TOO DAMNED SMALL and doesn't have any extra buttons. Oh well better get used to it. Having big hands makes for inconvenient mice usage.

Least my scroll works. *Laughs*

Y Wednesday, October 21, 2009

9:31 pm

1) Don't sleepwalk. Some people sleep, and when they get up, they're still sleeping. They sleep all their lives.

2) What you are today is a product of yesterday's thoughts. No wonder some people keep wanting to change their lives but never succeed. Their yesterday was the same as the other yesterdays! What you are tomorrow is a product of today's thoughts. Since the only thing you can change is the present, change today!

3) There is the stimulus, and there's you. Between the two there's the space. You, being human, have all the power to decide what you want to do in the space. Specifically, how you want to respond.

4) Reacting is different from responding. You respond with thought. You react without using your conscious mind. One is not better than the other. Rather, you have to make sure that when you react, it is positive in nature. You condition yourself to react positively.

5) Joy comes from within. The outside world is simply pleasure. Be it people, things. The whole universe operates on thoughts. Have the right thoughts and you'll find joy.

6) They call it falling in love for a reason. They're still sleeping! Love, but don't fall.

7) Be joyous and you'll find you attract joyous things, and benefit the people around you!

8) You're fine as it is. Don't be who you're not. Rather, as before - thoughts are the center of the universe. Change your thoughts!

This time frame has been very enlightening.

2:25 pm

What's this? Disappearing posts you say? Hmm nope, don't recall. Maybe it was part of the quality control check. Bad things leak through sometimes. I'm going to have to punish some gnomes at QC. ;)

Yes, the iPhone's one of my best investments. Mobile blogging ftw.

I'll make up for that error with another story when the day is done.

Y Saturday, October 17, 2009

11:36 am

It's tough.

Then again, it was never easy. Keep looking for the silver lining.

The first hints of snow have started falling. It's beautiful, the landscape painted in silver.

Don't stop. Live his dreams through ourselves.

17/10/09

Y Friday, October 16, 2009

2:10 pm

Today was a day of firsts and lasts, of alpha and omega. Oddly, it's easy to describe how I feel. A mixture of relief and indifference.

I feel relief - relief stemming from today's arrival. I may at long last shed this false skin I wear. It is finished. The deed is done. I have waited two years for dawn. Time did not fly. It was cruel, it crawled, mocking me at every turn.

Lady Luck was not kind. The roll of the dice worked against me. Seemingly random encounters thought it amusing to fulfill the extreme end of Murphy's law. I stuck it through. What choice did I have, really?

I will be thankful for one thing. My days were uneventful, not because of a lack of effort but rather a colossal one to keep things uninteresting and routine. No surprises - I would have none of that.

There comes a time where a man has to, quite simply, walk away. Because really, there is nothing left, or rather, there was nothing in the first place.

For once, or rather, for a long time coming, I can finally walk away from something completely. This is closure of the surest kind.

I expected elation. Ecstasy. Afterall, this was the goal in mind. From the first day, this was what I set my sights on. The end. Only the bells of joy never pealed. It never came. It wasn't because a sense of loss overcame the thrills of freedom, not at all. In fact it's inexplicable. The whole affair was neither joyous nor melancholic. Maybe it's because induced nostalgia can trigger a recall of less.. desirable memories as a side effect. Who knows?

Above all, I am tired and indifferent. Hate something long enough and fatigue creeps in. It was no falsehood when they said hating is tiring. I've felt it all - any negative feelings a human can know. Now, I just want to forget. This never happened. This is detachment. A goodbye for the sake of saying goodbye, for all it's worth.

There are no regrets, for there were no expectations.

I come with nothing and leave with nothing. I take away nothing and give away nothing. There are no debts between us.

May the years of '08 and '09 remain a void, forgotten and lost.

Goodbye.

12:52 am

We all have a past.

Not all of us have a future though. Or rather, sometimes, some people just have theirs robbed. It could have been done in a multitude of ways, but that's ultimately irrelevant. It could have been anyone's, everyone's or noone's fault. Again, inconsequential and insignificant.

What's more important is how you take this loss. At first it's not to grief so much. Then it's to remember it for all the good it was. And finally, to seek strength from it.

The day draws near. I would wish for all who are concerned to attend, but alas, remembering is an impossible task for some, so we shall not even discuss presence. It is disappointing, even saddening, but nevertheless, not unexpected.

We're all caught up in the present, but it's fine.

My mouse wheel is spoiled and I am PISST. Time to replace broken stuff.

Y Thursday, October 15, 2009

7:23 am

Heaven queen, bury me
In all that blue.

Little boy
Such precious joy
Is dead to the world.

Y Wednesday, October 14, 2009

10:09 pm

Girls are so goddamned shy!

I didn't believe it at first, and that resulted in me pedestaling all of them. Now that I look back, it's disgusting. Perfect way to slip into the doomed fate of your average frustrated chump.

Deep down inside they really want to be treated like little girls. I'm serious!

So I did a little experiment these past few days - establishing eye contact with people on the streets.

Now this is a little more difficult here. For starters, it's weird. I'd admit for all the supercharged-ness I've felt these few days, sometimes I'd get cold feet and look away. But most of the time there simply isn't an opportunity!

No one even bothers to establish eye contact, it's sad! Every bloke on the street reeks of low self-esteem. Think it's creepy that you look at people on the streets? Yeah you're probably one of those zero confidence people.

Seriously. There was a rather attractive OL that was looking in my direction, so I just looked into her eyes for a bit, we held it for about say 2 seconds. I tilted my head and smiled a little.

She immediately looked away and had a sheepish smile on her face. Is that a blush I spy?! It's hilarious! Must have made her day.

Guys with confidence issues, give it a shot. These few days I've tried it, I felt A LOT better about myself.

Next step's to say hi to perfect strangers. This one's gonna be a lot tougher, but I reckon a lot more fun too.

I'll write about it real soon.

Oh yeah regarding today, alright so it wasn't THAT productive but I must say I'm satisfied. A bro's great company, especially when he knows his maths. LMAO.

Y Tuesday, October 13, 2009

6:01 pm

I read an article someone wrote earlier today. Okay more of a forum post, but eh. It's pretty interesting.

"What I believe Sir Chance might mean is that in today's society, the vast overwhelming super duper freakin majority of women are women in name only. In the "old days" there was the concept of the "Three B's" for a lady's upbringing. They were Beauty, Brains, and Breeding. When the three were combined and stressed, a REAL woman was the result.

From my own personal experience, today's women in our society (Im speaking about western culture) almost completely lack the third B, Breeding. Some do have Beauty as well as Brains, but even then their lack of a proper upbringing has not taught them the correct way to treat others, especially men, and the Brains part is usually twisted by that upbringing. Couple this with the recent feminist movement and you have a generation of overly self absorbed, twisted females. So no wonder its hard to find a good woman, a REAL woman nowadays.

Of course now I probably sound like a misogynist hehehe. However I'm just speaking from my personal experience from interacting with the many females I've known of all ages and comparing how the older ones of past generations act and think, and comparing them to how the new and younger ones act and think. The amazing number of broken households and families have almost certainly helped to contribute to this, and it affects men quite a bit too, but to me it seems the girls are the ones who end up being the most affected by it, but I could be wrong as my focus is predominantly on them."

To which Sir Chance replies

"You hit the nail on the head. That is EXACTLY what I was saying! I hadn't nailed the concept down to a single word, but there you have it: BREEDING.

My dad used to work VERY long hours. He had to. I have 9 brothers and sisters. Guess I know where I got my sex drive! Anyway, when she cooked dinner, she would ALWAYS fix him a plate, and put it in the refrigerator. He might not get home till 2 or 3 in the morning, but she had enough respect for him that he had a good home-cooked meal waiting on him when he got home. You think today's b*tches would do that? I don't think so. Their idea of a home cooked meal is takeout Chinese nuked in the microwave.

My mom gets so pissed at my sisters because they don't show the proper respect for their husbands.

Both the breakup of the traditional family, as well as western affluence have BOTH contributed to women today.
Daddy-less girls usually end up being sl*ts, who look for someone to take Daddy's place.
Women who grew up where Daddy gave them everything end up being heartless, cruel, b*tches who think men should kowtow to their every whim.

That is why I have always said farm girls usually are good women. They grew up on a farm, and saw how hard their dads had to work. Plus, they probably had to work hard too. I have YET to meet a farm girl that was high maintenance.

Yes, I believe BREEDING is the correct term."

Consider this: They say all the good men are gone, but could it be a result of the dinosaurification of good women that flushed all the good men out? =O

I don't justify nor seek approval for my actions, not anymore, but I don't need a bunch of angry feminazis with choppers at my door. The reply to the first post wasn't exactly diplomatic, that I know. I don't have as strong a stance as he does, and I have my own thoughts on the matter. It's just an alternate view, but you get the point.

It's not that the modern women is horrible, or that I'm mocking women's emancipation - none of that shit. I'm just pointing out maybe in that process, in that crazy feminazi movement, something was lost. It's affected not only women, but men as well! Our social structures have morphed rapidly over the years, so this is just some thought on the matter.

I dodged the bullet. Seriously. Fuckin dodged it!

7:44 am

So I just had a session with my history teacher, and she pretty much thinks I sold myself out by taking sciences. Should have taken H2 she said. Would've done well.

So yes things do look slightly peachier, I can do this shit if I want to. Hell it was a rushed essay I did last night, or rather this morning and she was still pretty satisfied. She has a pretty subtle way of saying I replace content with BS though. Really cute. Wait for it.

"Ian I think you'll do very well in university, you seem to be able to find a lot of information that aren't in my handouts. But you know you need to get through the A levels before you can do any uni work."

Rofl. But it wasn't all bad as I said earlier. Things are getting peachier. I can engage the goddamn question and I have the flair for writing essays but somehow I ain't bothering. Wonder why. Oh right. No content. Why? Chronic lazyitis. Not fatal but can lead to failure and discontent. BS that I'm gonna give over myself to that.

Been out of commission for awhile, true. Feel better now than ever, also true. I can do this shit and much more. As I said before, this confidence is downright sexy and addictive. I am in love with myself. Hail to the king, baby!

HOO-AH!

Y Monday, October 12, 2009

3:10 pm

Remember, kids.

Judge not by words, but by actions!

They weren't kidding when they said communication is 3% talking and 97% body language. Seriously? Words mean jackshit as I've found out.

Waiters can tell you to enjoy your meal. But in Singapore, the service here is shit, so they probably sound like they want you to choke on a bone and die.

The guy can tell the girl "I love you.", but it means nothing when she sees another girl in his arms, or runs along and tends to his other things as if she doesn't exist the moment he gets a breather.

You see, it's our first line of offense when we want to lie. Words. We use them to communicate and therefore, if we which to communicate lies, we do it via words firstly. This is why text is even more limited. So now you can't even hear a person's inflections and change in tone. It's just text! How about that?!

Why do you think lil kids can't lie for shit? They've only mastered the art of changing their words. Takes a lot to get your body to lie along.

Once again, remember, especially guys when in doubt.

Actions. Not words.

Y Saturday, October 10, 2009

10:42 pm

My mouse scroll is busted. I am really pissed off.

It is, however, irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

We went back home today, to study. I must say, the new sports complex in VS is really a godsend. You new Victorians are very, very lucky. Before, various CCAs had to compete for sporting venues, leaving guys who just wanted to play ball stranded, especially during the times where the field was getting its synthetic makeover.

Yes, VS is something more. We get the good shit. Of all the secondary schools out there, we have the best facilities, because we deserve every single cent spent on 'em.

It was quiet and relatively cooling. I got a good amount of work done but it could be better. Overall not too shabby.

The real fun part about today, which I wouldn't give up for anything, was dinner at Werner's Oven at Siglap.

Oktoberfest just ended, but they still had the Oktoberfest menu, so hell we went for the 'Oktoberfest for 4'. There were 6 of us.

Okay so we did top it up with 1 main course and 2 more beers, but either way, it was extremely filling. I couldn't think of a single bad dish. Seriously. Maybe the french fries. Yeah that's the worst of all the food, but only because, well, it's ordinary and your french fries come from the goddamn frozen pack anyway.

Those trashy chicken sausages that come in packs.. well I wouldn't even call them sausages. Seriously. You haven't had sausages till you've had the ones here. They're huge, juicy and don't have that boring, salty, non-descript taste of the typical frozen frankfurters.

Pork knuckles were crazy good. You could feel the fats melting in your mouth - I shit you not. Overall an epic gastronomical experience.

Sure the bill worked out to be about $36 per person, but for the company, food and experience, it was more than worth it.

Photos.

From Ian@rantbox

Beer is good. You can never go wrong with beer.

From Ian@rantbox

Straight out of a coming of age film. WHAT A BIG BOY YOU ARE NOW MELVIN!

From Ian@rantbox

Pretzels. Nothing extraordinary. Tim told us that we're supposed to dip the pretzels into the beer. The collective of us did just that and wasted no time looking like idiots.

From Ian@rantbox

Meal for four? Really?

From Ian@rantbox

Yeah we finished it. See that satisfied smile on Melvin's face? You can figure who paid disproportionately less.

From Ian@rantbox

Andrew, the plate is EMPTY. STOP PICKING AT THE GODDAMNED BONES.

From Ian@rantbox

Easily the picture of the day. Prost!

That's a day well spent brothers. Wouldn't give it up for anything.

Y Friday, October 09, 2009

9:22 pm

Shit has been breaking down and I do NOT appreciate it.

Phone reception has been wonky.
Phone has been hanging.
There's a shitty piece of paper stuck in my iPhone's headphone jack.
Mouse scrolling seems to be a problem.
There's a tear in my gorgeous sling bag.
The last vestiges of my ancient shoes are giving way.
Garena is breaking down and refuses to connect.
Laptop's been heating up really quick.
My appetite stinks - lots of rubbish but no solid meals.
Diarrhoea.

But I still feel awesome.

Suddenly every random on the street feels like second rate trash and I am indeed, God's gift to mankind.

This is addictive.

Mine is yours and yours is mine
There is no divide
In your honor
I will die tonight.

6:33 am

Indifference is a powerful tool. More so than love or hate can ever hope to be.

Y Thursday, October 08, 2009

8:26 pm

This shit feels good.

Born and fated to be an alpha.

Slipped to beta somewhere along the hustle and bustle you call life.

Sorry ma, sorry pa. And most of all, a big apology to mother nature.

Now to see exactly what this gift from mother nature is capable of.

We jump feet first into hell.

Y Tuesday, October 06, 2009

9:38 pm

I have no goddamned problems with my kidneys. They are fine as my GP said more than 10 years ago.

Fucking checkups. I know it's protocol and all, but looks like it's time to review it. Obviously it's not working.

In fact, I'm thinking it would actually be worth my time if I had something wrong with my kidneys. I'd down PES and it'd have actually made me feel a little better about all that running about from CMPB to TTSH. Annoying.

Life.

Ain't about hating or loving it. More of living it because it wasn't your choice that you're supposed to exist, and we all fear death, so no point ending it.

In fact, I read something once, and it made sense, how we manage to stay on despite the chilling fact that, life is not beautiful, and beds of roses have more than a bed of thorns.

'I don't know about angels, but it's fear that gives men wings."

That's why at some point in your life, you feel indifference. Not love nor hate for life. Just indifference. No choice in the matter, yet a gnawing fear whenever you decide to do away with it.

Y Sunday, October 04, 2009

7:39 pm

Want a peek? Then come closer ;)

Y Saturday, October 03, 2009

7:41 pm

I couldn't sleep. Not at all. Tossed and turned. An hour. Maybe two. It's like scenes of a horror movie that doesn't stop. All the worst parts repeated.

Exaggerations aside, maybe it had to due with the fact that, you know, the goddamned air conditioner seemed to be gushing liquid nitrogen. Unfamiliar beds do indeed, give you fitful slumber. Not fun.

Insomnia's really bad, and I don't even think I'm experiencing a third of it. Poor insomniacs, really.

Y Friday, October 02, 2009

10:35 pm

Important life lesson revised: Don't try to do what you were obviously not made to do.

I listen and like music.

Ma used to say people who sing good don't usually look good. God seems to have shortchanged me on both, but eh.

So anyway, yes, KTV sessions are for me to listen to people, and not for me to sing. Because there are two outcomes if I do:

a) Complete disaster.
b) Utter calamity.

Fuck you god, fuck you!

Y Thursday, October 01, 2009

11:58 pm

I got flooded with a bunch of chinese songs from mc today.

Honestly, I won't deny it. They sound mostly the same, have the same speeds, rhythms and progression.

What else you can't deny is that they're sickeningly sweet. So honeyed you can't help but think and feel, you know, maybe they're right. It's that worth it. I tried to switch to some metal, or something angry just to get my mind off things.

I just kept going back.

Have you seen the MVs? They're about the same as well. Usually a love that did not come to be, separated by death, distance or illness. Or worse, time. The themes are similar, recurring and amazingly cliche.

Again, irrefutably sweet.

But but but, at the very end, simply a fairy tale produced by people who want you to buy their CDs!

Sorry, but this shit only happens in fairy tales. We all know fairy tales, quite literally, don't exist. Life ain't a fairy tale, nor is it a nightmare, but either way, if you're even thinking of sharing the kind of shit in the MVs or songs, be in for a rude awakening.

6:27 am

Today, as I woke up, I refused to do so. Until I realized I was going to be fucking late for school and you have to produce a goddamn MC everytime you're absent. Seriously CJ?

Why so anal?

Oh right. Catholic school.