We all know the truth hurts. But today I've found out why. It's because every time something goes wrong, at its very base, the truth of it all, is that it was all your fault, and you know it. You can point fingers at people, objects or even God, but it slowly morphs to a mirror. Then you see that accusing visage, the damning finger, and it swallows you whole. It's all you, you and you. There's no running from it.
Who was I kidding? I'm not back to square one; I've never moved from square one. When you thought you've put it all behind, the past suddenly catches up to you, a cold grip on your shoulder when you least expect it. It wags its finger at you, shakes its head and tells you "We're not done, you and I."
Everything could have been different. It could have been so much more. No, it should have been. Not like the present. But things have a nasty habit of turning the way you don't want it to, and it's often a situation where there's no second chance, no opportunity to make things right again. Not even a trace of trash to hopefully salvage from. But you know you deserve it, every drop of that vile poison.
Rarely, you're allowed a little piece of heaven. A peek. A taste. More often than not, it serves as the sting of regret, a reminder of everything that has gone wrong. A little memento with the words 'the time to make a difference is over'. It is bittersweet, perhaps more bitter than sweet. But if it is all the delight you can find, should you hang on to it?
This is my abattoir of regret. The dream slaughterer, the hope ender.
with the antibiotics. Lolwut ^_^.
Yeah so I finally got to visit the dentist, albeit after a 2 hour wait. But s'okay. Least I confirmed that I need an extraction, the earlier the better, so the dentist can pocket the money faster. Either way, I got an MC (lol) and antibiotics to help with the swelling. But I swear that antibiotics is overkill, felt weird all day after taking it, and now I'm slightly feverish.
License to cut school again tomorrow? WOAH!
Yeah my mood's improved a lot ever since I grabbed Mirror's Edge, albeit for $20 more expensive than I could have gotten it for. Blasted Comic's Connection wasn't open, so no $20 discount.
I HAD TO HAVE IT, YOU SEE.
Yeah it's great.
Unfortunately, for my case, not so great. We do almost no visiting and no one visits us. Sucks. It's a boring new year. Because our family likes to do things efficiently, we've had our reunion dinner about 3 weeks ago. So if you say it's about collecting ang baos, guess what, I don't get any.
So I wish I could share your joy, but I can't.
I think, in future, I'll just bi nian. There're only trivial things to do anyway. I might as well spend the time doing something I'd enjoy.
Have a miserable chinese new year guys. I hope you hate it as much as I do.
That's RNG, and why WoW will never be an e-sport.
I've admitted it to the world and I ain't 'fraid to do it again. PE is my worst subject. There.
Oh god I really, really SUCK at this shit. But eh, I'll be a jackass and blame it on bad childhood memories.
*Cue ripply wave effect thingy*
"EHEH OK GOAL KICK NOW."
*Muddle around*
*BOOM*
*BANG*
Next thing I knew I was sailing through the air and feeling as if I was flying! Too bad what goes up has to come down. Besides, no one in the right mind would just dive onto the ground for no reason. The ball to face just helped encourage it, y'know?
So the aftermath was a nose that barely held in there, bleeding from both nostrils and a bruise, a whole half-face of it. Now how about that?! I cosplayed as Two-Face at the age of six. Ain't that precious?
I never played soccer ever since.
But seriously speaking, I hate running, flat footed you see. (lolexcuses) And the first reaction was to block or dodge incoming objects ever since that incident oh-so-long ago.
Today's school is bad. Though chem's now banded and I ain't in that blasted chem teacher's class, my luck never holds and we end up staying together for practicals. So apparently I have to finish copying a piece of shit guideline for SPA, which she deemed really important.
Next thing you know she gives you a mock test. I'm like
So she could have just gave the thing as a practice, and GUIDE us with the -GUIDE-LINE. We'd still have a copy with us.
But no.
=\. So we end up copying it, doing a mock test which I had nfi how to complete. Seriously, fire her and hire Wong Wai Lit already. (Heard he appeared in the papers =O)
Then the onus is on me to copy out another copy of the guideline because the class phailed to answer her question. If I don't come to school tomorrow, the whole class does it three more times!
And people tell me this school isn't as bad as it seems.
Honestly?
Honestly.
EDIT, before I forget: I quoteth "Men are nothing. I tell that to my husband too."
Wanna hear a joke?
Feminists.
Nah, kidding. Nope, I didn't see a doctor, but I did feel like crap the night before and this morning. Mucus dribbling out of your nose, body feels like it can't move and you feel permanently lethargic. Counts as being un-well by my definitions.
I think it's all that school stress, honestly. When you feel like shit, then the shit really hits the fan.
Gonna hit the sack for a bit.
Not lies.
Basically, this trip's quite a move from the usual routine, the usual nuances of life, so of course I have to decide the best way to put it on text. Yes, I'm a lazy bastard. No pictures, because that would mean transferring data, uploading it to imageshack and linking it here. Too much work.
I toyed with a few ways of doing this; I actually logged the activities of those 10 days, and planned to put it up when I'm home. Then I figured, nahh why bother. The details are so boring. I gave all the logs a read through and found it will probably only be enjoyable for myself, so in the phone it stays.
Second way was to post a short summary on the trip, which was the lazy way, and as you guessed, thought up of the moment I got back, since you know, jet lag is not fun. DISCIPLINE, bro. That's why the post is as long as it is.
I decided on a compromise between the two, make up on the way kind of thing. Maybe that's why my writing stinks. I'm too lazy to plan and just do an impromptu.
Anyway, right now, I'm really bored. I was supposed to meet the guys for dinner at the newly opened Thaipan. Got called at about 6 ish? Yeah then messaged at 7 telling me to get ready to leave, shower and shit.
7.45, still no news. Gawd I'm pissT. I really don't mind waiting, but you know, give more solid timings and don't tell me to get ready. Fucking annoying. I suppose I'll give the newly re-opened Thaipan a miss.
Right. On to the trip. Where do I start?
DAY 1:
Ah yes. Plane ride was killer. For the trip there, because we're poor people, economy class meant -NO- direct flights. Now, this is actually a good thing, because 18 hours is no bloody joke. The flight was split into something like 7 and 9 hours respectively, stop over at Narita in Tokyo. By the time we landed in the airport in LA, fuck, I looked like hell. The usual, looked like a train wreck blabla.
The customs were really really fucked imo. First guy just tossed his pen at our faces without any words being exchanged between the both of us, to fill a form. Friendly.
Second guy was someone who needed some help. Let's call him Hua. Now, I don't really know if it's for formality or anything, but I think Hua here isn't too bright. See, when you asked if we had more than $5k USD, we told you the exact amount, you don't go asking if we have more than $10k USD. Nasty tones and raised voices do not disguise your intellect, which wasn't judged before you opened your mouth. But Hua, I don't blame you. Your job stinks.
Thanks for proving how much your education system fails, Hua. Ya dumbfuck.
The rest of the day was uneventful, photo taking session at the santa monica beach and a visit to the Paul Getty museum. Good god the place was windy and cold. Five seconds. That's how long I could last with the wind blowing at me without my nose dropping off or mucus turning to icicles. It was originally supposed to be a rest day, but because of competition, "visiting more places" was thought to be more appealing. Please just give us our room cards next time.
Universal Studios and Disneyland. Yes, supposedly the highlight of the trip for many. It's a place for all ages, really, unless you're Dave Chong. Then you'll just grumble your way through.
Now personally, out of the two, I enjoyed Universal Studios significantly more than Disneyland. See, Universal Studios actually has a theme for their rides and attractions. I guess maybe I don't really take to theme parks, even if it is a mega theme park that probably spends hundreds of thousands to operate everyday.
Nothing much to say about Universal Studios; the tram ride was probably the highlight. It just felt more entertaining because of the movie theme it has. In closing - they'll probably have 5D, 6D and god knows how many other D shows in addition to their 3 and 4D ones.
If anyone says Disneyland takes more than a day, they're lying. Yes, I'm including both California Adventure and Disneyland.
But how?!
Simple. Just go on the rides that actually matter, that you actually want to be on. Not crap like the stupid spinny teacups, turning 360 and rotating about its own freaking orbit. I'm bloody surprised the area isn't stained with puke and bile and whatnot. You take that ride and you'll waste a whole day away trying to recover.
I took the scream rollercoaster thingy, was pretty fun. For those of you who are scared of 360s, eh, I'm telling you, it's really nothing. Over so damned fast you don't even know what the heck happened. Your world just inverts for maybe 2 seconds max, then it magically returns back to normal. The sudden ups and downs are more exhilarating, really.
Another ride worth mentioning is probably the Hollywood hotel one. 100 feet up and then it drops. Great fun, you can feel yourself going off your seat.
Dad was tired and grumbling so we went home at 6 ish without seeing the parade and fireworks. From what I heard, we didn't miss anything much.
Shopping.
We visited Palmsprings. Wow that place was freaking snowing. We were told it wouldn't rain, (it did, on the first day too.) wouldn't be colder than 9 degrees, and now it's -snowing-.
Happy Ian is HAPPY.
I mean by now, unless you're Dave Chong, you should've adjusted to the cold and time. It's actually quite comfortable - air conditioning whereever you go, your face stays eternally oil-free and I can really see why they only shower once every 2 days.
So anyway, it was my second time seeing snow. Nothing special, honestly.
For those who still wonder, it's not that white fluffy stuff you see in comics, movies and whatnot.
It's hard, slushy, and grey in colour. You don't really fling rainwater which was been stepped on by people walking on grass, stepped on dog ahem or visited the toilet (which hasn't been cleaned for some time) at people, right? Yeah so please don't fling snow that didn't just fall from the sky.
Uh, what else should I say? Oh right. The view was great.
What? How else would you want me to describe it? Honestly. That you can find it in Singapore? If I launch into a descriptive on the scenary, we'll be here all day.
Shopping.
Okay I won't waste posts. Hoover dam and Grand canyon.
View was great. Sorry no pictures. Okay I have a few, but my phone camera stinks, and since you can't see crap, why put it up! =O
We visited the Hua La Pai tribe, and ate at the mountain top. T'was awesome. Piping hot food becomes cold in the 15 seconds it takes to walk to your seat. Or was it 10? Either way, people were walking around while eating, taking cover behind walls to eat, hiding in the toilets to eat, or not eating at all. Fools!
We had a 3 hour bus ride to Las Vegas, Nevada. My tailbone swears never to talk to me ever again.
Sin city. Sure, it's beautiful when lit up at night. Perhaps I'm not at the age to appreciate nightlife and all that stuff, but I doubt. The whole thing just doesn't sing to me. I find it a big waste of money, a place where there's so much wastage, where they celebrate excessiveness.
There's a very talented guy there though, using spray paints to well, paint. He made creative use of everyday items like tissue papers, toothpicks, pliers etc. to create his work. It was so awesome I bought one painting. I'll probably hang it up soon.
What? That's it? It's Las Vegas!
I'm a minor.
Noticed how I skipped Christmas? We spent it in the hotel lobby hiding from the cold.
Pathetic.
Anyway, it seems like the whole of America is closed, and my throat really wanted to kill me. Yes, it's all that FUCKING burgers, fries, fried chicken and all that other swill the majority of Americans eat.
I'm really not trying to come off as insulting. Personally, I'm just very revolted at how they can eat that stuff daily. I've opted for Chinese food whenever we could ever since the first three days, where we had nothing but fastfood for most meals. It was disgusting, terrible.
Turns out our flight was overbooked, and we couldn't board. My dad went apeshit WTF I WANT TO GO HOME. MY HAIR'S DROPPING, I DIDN'T GET TO EAT MY FRUITS, MY SYSTEM'S MESSED UP I WANT TO GO HOME.
So we were one of the two families who didn't want to off load. FUCK. That was $500 USD per person and free accomodation!
Remember that basketball coach who talked about "bringing the team a complete 360" regarding his failing team? Yeah we went full circle and all of us boarded.
Anyway, we're getting ready to head back to Singapore. 14 hours to Hong Kong, then another 4 to Singapore. Left the airport at about 1 am, REACHED Singapore at about noon.
Funnily, the 14 hours marathon wasn't so bad, not even half as sufferable as the journey there.
It's quite hard to believe, that the next instant you get to see the outdoors, it instantly chagnes to day. Maybe that's what they call jet lag.
Good to be home, either way.
For all you lazy bastards who scrolled all the way down, skipping my wonderful writing.
Was the trip fun?
Hell yes. But was it tiring? Hell-ier yes. An eye opener for sure. America doesn't really have a culture, in my opinion. It's just a mish mash of everything. Singapore has quite distinct practices amongst the different races, and we've learned to live with it. America is more of a culture that borrows from everyone. A true cosmopolitan society.
You might disagree, but I'm talking out of my ass so maybe I wouldn't care =p.
Upon reaching home, I really found our society very drab and boring. Everyone is so self-concious about their own actions, when in reality no one really cares, at least not more than 10 seconds.
Say you see a crazy guy on the street. (BTW lots of them in San Fran. I saw a fella standing there blowing into his hat and mouthing some strange things. Rinse and repeat for 2 hours.) You'll nod your head and go 'That's a crazy guy.'
Then the next day you'll tell your friends 'I saw a crazy guy.'
Do you really care? Didn't think so.
What do I think? We need to be more spontaneous to keep things fresh. Yes, I realize we are pre-dominantly Asian and wish to retain our Asian Values, but it really dulls things, a lot. Life is short, why not do all that you can? Some part of you really wanted to give a genuine warm smile at the counter girl who just served you, but maybe you're afraid she might think you have weird intentions.
Or helping that poor granny walking up the stairs with heavy bags? I bet you wanted to help, but held back for fear of being rejected, or screwing up.
Or maybe even joining in a group of street musicians who offered you a simple percussion instrument to play. Perhaps dancing to the beat with your other half, and just having a blast.
No one really cares, not more than the initial 10 seconds. Do what you want and have a blast.
"WHAT? THAT'S IT? HOW ABOUT THE PEOPLE FROM YOUR TOUR? SAY SOMETHING."
Yes that's it. Singapore's a pretty darned small place. Ever since the SAJCCO conductor magically found my blog, I've decided to be more careful with my postings. Maybe if you take the initiative to ask, I'll tell!
The more interesting stuff is kept mum, because it can't be said out ;)
Do I ever cross your mind, on a warm sunshine?