Y Sunday, July 19, 2009
12:49 am
So I was playing Halo with the guys the other day and there was a fella named Moshua.What the fuck?
Who the hell would have pick a name like 'Moshua'. Seriously, MOSHUA? WTF?
I thought that was bad, until there was someone named, wait for, 'Period Milkshake'. I shit you not. Period Milkshake. Jesus christ that is BAD.
On a separate note, I did something surprising - I caught Harry Potter on release day. Which is odd, because there are few reasons why you'd do that.
1) You are a rabid Harry Potter fan. If you are, stop reading now. You will not be pleased.
2) You are a rabid Emma Watson fan. Yes she's attractive, but it would be nice if you stopped fawning on her. I got it the first time. Sometimes, the efforts of one person result in a successful movie. This is NOT one of those movies. No kidding.
3) You are a rabid movie fan. Something big means you HAVE to catch it on release day right?
4) Too much spare time. I personally think 24 hours a day is enough, if you're retarded and don't have much to do either way.
Was neither of those reasons for me. I joked about catching it on release day and Darren turned the joke into a reality I had to deal with. MC was right: Darren ORGANIZING something? Now this is new and exciting, no shit.
I went in there expecting nothing, and I still came out peeved off.
I'm no purist, and that's disclaimer I have to put into the air. Plot threads were removed due to time constraint, fine. But the important ones got butchered, and the retarded ones were left in.
a) The half blood prince. That's the damned title of the movie. This huge plot thread was reduced to some questions regarding Snape's potions book and concluded with one line.
"You dare use my spell against me? Yes, I am the Half-Blood Prince."
How about the whole mistaking Voldemort for the half-blood prince bit? The inane speculation and investigations? The accusations against Malfoy?
b) The epic, epic battle at the end where students used their crappy Stupefies and laughable spells against the Death Eaters and scared them off. It was replaced with a batshit insane Bellatrix cackling and setting Hagrid's hut on fire.
The guy wasn't even at home. The hell? Talk about completely pointless.
c) I got a climax that was Dumbledore falling off the tower. Big whoop. Or maybe the climax was the bit where they dispelled the Death Mark skull thingy. Or maybe the whole crying bit. Nah fuck it, there was no fucking climax.
Even shitty movies like The Happening had a climax where you know, they almost died testing the effects of the pollen by running across the field. There was tension, an "OH SHI-" moment.
For this I get treated to an old guy falling off a tower. That's something that creates a conflict, not one that resolves it.
They had to be done away of course. They HAD to be. They were all axed in favour of the great importance of seeing Lavendar kissing Ron, and Hermione going apeshit. Srz biznez guys. Or how Ron is actually worth a crap goal keeping (he's not).
I'm no movie critic, I don't know of cinematography and pacing and whatnot. I just know an enjoyable movie when I see one. That wasn't it.
EDIT: On hindsight, let's be fair. Maybe the climax was where Dumbledore rained down a godly firestorm on the zombie fellas, which Harry dealt with by shooting Stupefies. (Read: Pointless.) I still feel cheated. What about that epic battle that actually concluded the book?
And fine, presentation and stuff were fine. Special effects had effort in 'em. Then again, Sin City had that too. And it had a proper end.