Y Tuesday, January 01, 2008
6:24 pm
Happy New year everyone. Not that I really mean it, but I think you knew that by now. Just a formality.In fact, the whole shebang's just a formality. Christmas, CNY, blabla. World's so commercialized they're probably a gimmick to get people to spend more. Well, helps the economy anyway, so no one should really be complaining.
So yeah, New Year's party at Darren's and subsequently my place, was pretty good. Drank just a bit at Darren's place, and finally got to watch X-men 3 on Star Movies. Is it just me, or does Shadowcat not look legal? I wouldn't hit it, rofl.
Moved over to my place and started the drinking games proper, to celebrate the New Year. Funny thing, humans. All you need to do is name a specific day and stick some weird significance in it. There. Celebrations.
Again, not that I'm complaining. It was great, and though I only participated in half the games, (who's the sober shit to clean up the mess, ei?) half the fun has always been watching people get conked out to the strong stuff like Vodka and what not.
Well, after the games resolved, about 6 am-ish, No one wanted to drink the mixed stuff, as well as the remaining cup of Irish Cream. Wtf. So I took what was like 8 shots just like that. Vodka with sprite, Gin with fucking green tea (WTF?) and Irish cream.
...
Needless to say, alcohol got to my head. Here's what I don't get. If you're tipsy, you tend to spout gibberish. Funny thing was, I was in full and total control of myself. Yes, I could let go, but it just didn't feel right.
So drunks don't kno they're drunks, right? Har. Just for the sake of tacking this on, I could have a perfectly normal and intelligent discussion with one of the guests. His family seems to drink quite a bit, and it's rubbed off him. He could tell me the different uses of certain types of alcohol.
Dry vodka is used as a base for cocktails, and when drank pure, burns and kills people. I know that, because I drank it! He also mentioned something about $450 a bottle of some alcohol name which was horridly hard to pronounce, so I let that go anyway.
It's not a session of /flex LOOKATME! I CAN TAKE MY ALCOHOL! Neh. That stuff really messes with your head. Makes it light and heavy at the same time. Light in that you feel a lil sleepy, while a hammer pounds away, giving a headache that while not intolerable, is always noticeable. Tilt your head for a bit and it really goes all the way! Now that's some heavy stuff. Fancy trying to get up then, after lying down. Nope, not fun.
It was in this state that MC and I cleaned up Bobby's vomit for the third time. First was near the sofa as we were playing. Then it was at the garden while we were playing. Third was after we absolved everything and the fucker threw up next to the sofa AGAIN. Jesus christ.
Mark my words. Next time you idiots don't vomit into the plasic bag or pail provided, I'll throw you in a pool of your own vomit. Shit.
I decided that I was tird anyway, so time for sleep. Showered, brushed my teeth. Squeezing toothpaste out of that dwindling tube of toothpaste proved pretty difficult, but it was nothing compared to trying to get that toothpaste of the toothbrush. Missed twice.
Now I know why you don't drink and drive. You only do it because you...
1) Were dropped on the head at birth.
2) Were dropped again on the head at birth.
3) Have an IQ of less than 76, unable to control bowel movement.
4) Slept with your driving instructor.
5) Bribed the traffic police officers.
6) Got mindfucked so bad by a girl you took leave of your senses. Don't worry, #6 is understandable.
Anyway, I threw up quite a bit after that. Now this is odd. Usually you throw up because you've had too much in too little, and your liver rejects. But by that point of time, you're probably drunk and spouting out every last one of your dirty little secrets. Alcohol has a knack of spilling the skeletons in your closet.
Once again, I declare I was at least in 90% control of my actions, albeit sluggish, slow, and tinged with an inexplicable laziness.
Alright alright. I'll give in. Want to see Ian act stupid? By far the worst of my idiosyncrasies was speaking in a neutral tone, with a bit of the "British Accent". I was listening to myself, aware that it was silly, but found it fun to use anyway.
Poser? Nah, it's the New Year. Stuff it.
What? You're still reading? Alright. Here're my New Year's resolutions.
1) I resolve to stop making New Year Resolutions.
2) I resolve to tell others to do the same. They never get fulfilled anyway.
Because I'm not just another one of your plays.
-You're- the pretender.
I'm done, I'm done.