Y Sunday, September 30, 2007
12:36 pm
Teenage Freedom.Pretty damned sure many of you are having issues with this. Be it grousing about "access DENIED LOLLOL" when you asked for a sleepover at a friend's place, or having to come home "so early" at nine pm. Or death threats if you fail to meet certain requirements and criteria.
Believe it or not, you're not the only one having your "freedom" restricted. Many others feel the same way, so don't wallow in self-pity or get angsty over it just yet.
Personally, I've never had much problems where getting permission to carry out certain activities is concerned. I've had people telling me "Wow so good. your parents let you blablablablabnla."
Important thing here, in my opinion, is trust. Never for one moment think "I can handle myself. My parents don't have to worry."
That's a surefire way to get your ass grounded in your room, never to see the sunrise again.
Because they do worry, and no matter who you are, what you do, where you are, they'll worry. Regardless of how bloody astronomical the chances are of a person running up to you shaking your hand before proceeding to rape you, they'll worry. Yes, it's that ridiculous, and yes it's 120% justified. No, you cannot change their minds, so don't even think about it.
Simple reason. They're your parents, there's only one lousy copy of you, and they intend to keep it.
So, is it impossible to get out and have fun once in awhile? Well, from here on, it's all from my personal experiences, so your mileage may vary.
First thing to build up is a rock solid relationship. Can't get home everyday wondering when your mum's gonna eat your ass or when your dad's gonna take his belt out and give you a good hiding.
Boring, I know, but occasionally, they do have interesting insights. So talk to your folks. Best stuff are about how teenagers are currently. Talk about your friends and the conflicts they have with their parents, but don't mention names. Names come in only when they do something good, and you want your parents to know more about them. (More on this later.) Accept their views no matter how much you disagree, and realize that your own opinions are equally ridiculous.
Basically, where their opinions are concerned, take a "I'm glad you think this way. (I secretly disagree, but won't say it out loud or show it.)"
Second is the trust part. Parents want to know basically 3 things when you're out. Who you're with, what you're doing and where.
What you're doing and where are the major stumbling blocks. "I'm at a friend's party. I wanna stay over. Please please please please?"
This is Singapore. If you think you're gonna get an affirmative, go jump off a building.
How do you build it up? Simple. Your parents should know WHERE you are and WHAT you're doing ALL the damn time. It really really helps, because it gives the impression that you have nothing to hide, and nor should you hide anything, really.
If trying for harder stuff like sleeping over, (yes for some of us, it is.) that's where the WHO comes in. WHO you're with can potentially make or break the permission. Your chances are seriously doubled tripled 39r02fmm if you're with someone your parents themselves know, trust, and like.
Have a few, to be sure. If you're a girl, make sure you have at least one guy friend that's like that. Because current parents still follow the old adage of males leading the society and being stronger blabla.
Clubbing and alcohol.. eh. I'm really unsure on what to say on that subject, because personally, I dislike clubs. Alcohol.. well. From time to time in my opinion it's okay, and my parents don't really mind. Mum says it's because she knows who I'm with, where I am and what the occasion is. After the first time, and nothing goes wrong, your folks would usually be more inclined to let you off.
Boils down to 4 things. Your relationship with your parents, whether they know where, you are, the company you keep and what the occasion is.
Oh yes, thank god I didn't forget this. Don't lie. I'm serious. Don't. Lie. It may work the first time, second or third time, but you'll soon me spinning a whole web of deceit. You WILL slip up somewhere. Maybe you won't, but your parents will know whenever you fib.
It's like they have a frick'un lie detector or something. You won't get pass it. Even if it seems you did, they just muffled the alarm and let you pass. But they know. Once you lie, it's all over. GG trust. It gets reset to a negative value and you'll never ever get to go out again. Have fun getting grounded in your room.
One last thing. Sometimes a no means a no. Stop trying and don't lose your temper.