Y Wednesday, August 29, 2007

2:23 pm

Wow. First easy paper ever. Chemistry paper was probably not set my the HOD or senior teachers, because those fellas set papers fortified with barbed wires and laced with a touch of venom.

Paper 1 was moderately okay. I got about 2 or 3 mistakes so far, and paper 2 was comparatively easier. I'm hoping for an A1 here. I promise I'll turn Christian if I can get into a JC for the first 3 months. No bull.

As usual, had lunch at PP after school with, you guessed it, the usual. Getting kinda boring, the scenery at PP. Busts your wallet quicker that you can say "Where'd my money go?" Not that you really have much have a choice anyway. Least I got an allowance raise to compensate.

Here's the funny. Know Gramaphone in Parkway? Yeah that music/video shop. They carry stuff like Within Temptation, Tears for Fears and weird bands I've never even heard about. But look for MCR and you get.. nothing. Originally, we had planned to grab a copy of Inhuman Rampage by DragonForce, but if they didn't even carry mainstream stuff like MCR, I think DF's gonna be a stretch.

Left the place and Tim got a card for his coach after visiting 3 different shops. Pity Hallmark's closed down. Was the definitive place to get presents catering to a wide budge range when you're invited to a girl's party. More of the ease than anything, so now you girls know why all our gifts seem the same. They're all bought there. Sorry, no other ideas come into our heads, lawl.

E maths paper 2's tomorrow, and I heard it's pretty tough. Sux2bme. Let's see what comes out of it.

You take a cold shower in the dead of the night and think you've sobered. Then it dawns upon you: For you to live in this world of pain, you've got to be drunk anyway.

Y Tuesday, August 28, 2007

9:34 pm

Had English and E maths today. Disappointing, not unexpected, I can forget about getting into a JC for the first 3 months. Or 2, whatever. At the very least, I finished my E maths paper 1 with little difficulty. Yes, I did finish it but guess what? Didn't have time to check it. Big woop. Heh.

English.. poor time management sums it all up. Thank you once again, Paper 2, for killing all the effort I put into Paper 1.

*Pulls pants down*
*Bends over*
*Braces self*

"THANK YOU SIR CAN I HAVE MORE?"

But something very retarded and funny happened today though. We boarded an SBS bus to MPLB after lunch at PP. (And 2 walks in the rain. Now ain't that hawt? 6 wet guys. ROFL.) So, everything seemed to be normal...

DUN DUN DUN.

Bus driver started saying "HEY YOU CLOSE YOU CLOSE. CLOSE. THAT ONE CLOSE. *incomprehensible gibberish of dialect and.. English? Russian. No wait, Tamil. Wait what?* YES CLOSE. THE BABY THAT ONE. CLOSE."

Then he got OUT of his seat and walked towards us.

Everyone went "WTF?"

He went "CLOSE."

Oh. Who woulda thunk?!

So after that 2 minutes of brain-damaging conversation, a man holding onto a pram (which housed his sleeping baby. ku chi kuchi!) looked at him and said "No it's fine, I'll hold it tight. I've been on many buses and it's okay."

"NO NO. IT NOT OKAY! MY COMPENEE POLISEE! CANNOT CANNOT. YOU WANT SEET BUS MUST CLOSE. CLOSE."

"No, look. I've been on many buses and it's OKAY. I don't understand the rational behind this!"

"NO NO. CLOSE CLOSE. CANNOT OPEN."

Then he ran off back to his seat, and refused to start the bus. End result was a whole lot of VERY confused people in the bus and at the bus stop. No one could get in as the door was closed, and those inside were staring at bus driver.

After a bit, the red-headed stepchild came back and said "HEY. CLOSE. CANNOT OPEN. COMPENEE POLISEE. I TALK TO MY SUUPEELEOR, HE SAY CANNOT. YOU WANT MUST GIVE ENN ARR I SEE AND FONE NUMBA."

"Damn right I'll give you my number and NRIC. I'm going to personally write a letter to SBS transit and complain about this ridiculous policy." He turned to another person and said

"Evidently he hasn't had kids."

Then my favourite part.

"Look, just go drive your bus, please. I'll give you my details after this. Just go. Drive your bus. Yes. Go."

Damn straight.

That guy must have been dropped on the head at birth, and definitely looks it. Bus finally got started and everyone was laughing at the dumb sod. Poor sap, he kept looking back and had that dirty look on his face whenever we laughed.

Irony? The bus had an advertisement which was about some baby product.

Rest of the day was uneventful. Didn't get to see my maid of bout 3 years off. Kinda sad to see her go, but I guess where these farewells are concerned, I've been desensitized. Now I'm not uncompassionate; even vets lose their enthusiasm and "omg this animal so pooor thing." after the 100th animal.

Well, so during a break, I decided to Google "i luv euu w0rx" for the heck of it. There were actually results. Kind DO NOT tag or leave any comments on the following link - I just want to share what I found.

http://cherishmiif0rever.blogspot.com/

I might just be stupid, but it took me a few tries to comprehend anything. Your average teeny-bopper Singaporean school girl. DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY PERMANENT LOSS IN INTELLIGENCE.

Tell me if you guys know of a girl our age and still types like that. I'd be interested to read.

Damnnit I need to sell my property and get out =\.

Y Monday, August 27, 2007

10:38 pm

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF THE BLACK PARADE

1.Thou shalt accept death as it comes.
2.Thou shalt sing and march without question.
3.Thou shalt face fear and regret.
4.thou shalt let go of thy dreams.
5.Thou shalt give blood.
6.Thou shalt fear thy sins.
7.Thou shalt protect thy brothers in arms.
8.Thou shalt darken thy clothes.
9.Thou shalt not walk this world alone.
10.Thou shalt carry on!

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE:

1. Thou shalt not put a gun to thy lover's head.
2. Thou shalt be willing to die for love.
3. Thou shalt seek revenge on those who wrong you.
4. Thou shalt be a demolition lover.
5. Thou shalt unleash the bats.
6. Thou shalt protect thy lover from everything. (Even vampires)
7. Thou shalt respect the lord, Gerard.
8. Thou shalt sing the holy hymns of My Chemical Romance.
9. Thou shalt see beauty in bloody love.
10. Thou shalt rock hard.

Lol. Funny stuff. I love the concept of bloody love though, can't get over that picture on the album cover of Three Cheers.

*EDIT*: I R GUDZ AT SPEEEELING. Hey, I copy pasted whole sale at some ungodly hour. Not my fault.

Dear me. It's happened again. Oh well.

2:36 pm

Ahh. Feels good to have straightened out your thinking. Yes yes, I'm back to normal now. About those pictures, forget it. Too damned lazy to upload them. Some other time like maybe during the holidays. Got quite a few retarded shots.

So anyway, it's the crunch time and many people are getting on the edge. Can't blame them; everyone's stress levels are peaking and moods are going to change. The general consensus is that it's gonna get worse, something you might not really expect.

But on the other hand, perhaps you too are changing. It's crazy but part of what we're gonna have to go through. At the very end, it's only going to be you alone in that exam hall. You and that paper. Nothing else matters at that time. A very selfish way of looking at it, I know. But that's reality. Yet as a friend once told me, in the process of it, we will not stand alone. Optimistic. Hopefully.

I haven't lost sight of my target, but it's getting more unrealistic. Just feeling my way through this pitch black void lined with thistles. I'll get to the end, but the number of bruises, cuts and falls is another thing.

Suicidal? Nah. Afternoon naps are sinful, but I'm really, really tried and tired.

Life really is a bed of roses, despite what others might say. Looks good, smells great. Until you lie on it and find out about the thorns. Then you realize the roses only stop at the horizon. You're fucked.

Y Friday, August 24, 2007

11:13 pm

It's been some time. Nah, I won't let it die again. Just haven't had the time or will to put stuff in. Everyday's a bloody marathon, nothing really cheery happens, and I'm serious. The highlights of days are now decent test results. Tiredness, headaches and panadols are the norm. Sad isn't it?

It's the prelims and I'm still the screw up I was. Hard to believe isn't it? It's been a long journey, but I ended up walking in circles. Displacement 0. Hah.

I'm not condemning myself to eternal damnation, but it's been as if I didn't even know the path ahead of me was a repeating one. You gotta be damned stupid to not realize it. So I had this weird, weird thought.

Why bother to keep trying? Because really, I can let go and it's not like I'll die. But then I'll end up like the people I so despise. It's painful. Once, suicide was brushed as a stupid, stupid option for the mentally retarded. Now, I can see the reasons for suicide, but they are not in ANY way justified. Stupidity at it's finest for sure, but I can now see how they get to that thought process.

Thank god for friends they say. Irony, as I've written an argumentative on friends today, for my English prelim. They keep your head straight and shirt clean.

I have a lot more to share, along with some photos, but I'll leave it for tomorrow when I'm 100% sober and straightened out.

Y Sunday, August 19, 2007

11:33 pm

And now for the present.

So I woke up in the morning because my feet felt really cold, and repeated attempts to sleep back failed pretty miserably. I had my first game in ages, then MC and I met up at PP to study.

He was a lil late, so I pulled out my SS notes to study. I actually got some stuff in while sitting outside those benches outside the (now closed down )': ) MPH.

Had lunch, some beancurd from jolly bean then we started to get cracking. I'm really starting to dislike Mac's, because it's kinda noisy and the food smell kinda gets to you after a bit. But at least it's better than McCafe outside, where idiots smoke right to a "No Smoking" sign. They should just drop dead or die of lung cancer or something. You can spend money to end your life if you want, but don't shorten mine.

Met up with Darren and crashed at his place. Much more conducive. Finished up with the whole of Venice and an E maths paper, then it was fun and games xD. I never knew there was so much strategy in American Football! Always thought it was a bunch of huge, burly men smacking and tackling each other into the ground.

We totally didn't know how to play the game, so much laughter ensued. "I WANT THE BRICK GUY." "OMG LOOK AT MY GUY GO." "YES NICE ONE BFOO!" "QUICK TACKLE HIM AH YES YOU GOT THE BASTARD LOLOLOL."

Something like that.

Made my mum wait 4 minutes and she went berserk on my behind =\. Said something about

"It's not the wait, but the fact that you're late."
"You know, it's usually the person who waits for the car and not vice-versa."
Etc.

But she had a long day, and I guess I was at fault to. Ah well. Medicine tend to be addicted to pulling eyelids down. G'nite all.

11:19 pm

Okay, yesterday's post.

MC's birthday. We were supposed to meet at 2.30 at PP, but my brain somehow processed the information wrongly and I went there at 2 with Darren. Shortly later, we met up with Bfoo, then MC said he'd be late and will only be there at 2.45.

Big woop. So we ended up smashing some games at the arcade, and let me tell you. Don't play the Daytona there -.-. It's expensive and out of 4 cars, 3 are spoilt. Irritating. Wasted money there. Then there's House of the Dead 4, which I swear screams daylight robbery. Another 3 bucks down the drain =\.

Then came the lunch treat =D. My favourite. Using our ultra appetites (all of us hadn't eaten any breakfast that day.) and superior calculating skills, we maximised MC's treat and the end result was many fully-satisfied bellies - everything was complete with a main course, sides and dessert at Swenson's. =D.

But we haven't gotten MC a present, and Chester suggested a pair of shoes. That meant going all the way to town, but Chester did his thang and we all ended up at Cathay anyway.

I realized how sad a state my shoes were. I have like, 2 wearable pairs? Well that's because, like I said, I go into shoe shops and don't pick my shoes. I ask "What do you have that's size 13/14?"

You get the idea. I just don't get many nice shoes ):

MC settled for a really nice brown pair of soft leather shoes. I ate vinegar and sucked it up. Haha XD. And that was his $90 present, shared amongst 5 people. (Hey, students don't earn money you know.)

Then Chester INSISTED on watching the Bourne Ultimatum, even though Darren and I had already watched it. Well fine, since we missed some parts and it was a very good show. But he picked front row seats -_-. Needless to say, headaches ensued.

Fun day overall I guess. Happy Birthday buddy (:

Y Friday, August 17, 2007

11:59 pm

Okay, today's school was kind of a waste of time.

This week's pretty screwed, imo. First I fell sick on Wednesday and was out for one day. Then I didn't do as well as I wanted to in the English Oral. Oh, and I got a bloody C5 for chinese and Merit for chinese oral.

Can't get much worse, can it? Bleh. Famous last words.

Woke up in the middle of the night and the next thing I knew my leg started cramping up. I literally jumped out of bed and clutched my poor leg. Third time this has happened, (or at least as far as I can remember.) and of all weeks, this one. Great.

So the pain subsided, I figured I could go back to sleep now. Whoops! Sorry Ian, you put your leg in an awkward position AGAIN! This time the pain lasted what felt like twice as long. I was seriously going "Ow ow ow! Shit. Ow ohhh shit. Ow." So after about 30 seconds of agony, and another 20 seconds of contemplating if it was safe to sleep, I hit the sack again.

Got up the next morning and realized the only mode of movement was limping like an idiot. I really, REALLY wanted to skip school, because there was PE and mothertongue today. Then my mum gave that "Okay lor. You do what you want." Guilt pangs. And so Ian limped to school.

At least it rained, and I got to sleep during PE. Hah.

Yup and so the second half of the class had their English Oral today. Imo, I think they got equally easy pictures and topics. But they claimed their picture was "when I look at it, I stun." Oh well.

The more I hear them talk about their oral, the more I felt I screwed up ):

This week should just end. Well, at least we're celebrating MC's birthday tomorrow. He's gonna hafta wait for his present I guess. Haven't got anything yet. (No MC, a laptop is indeed out of the question.)

Y Thursday, August 16, 2007

8:51 pm

I need to stop hitting the enter button after I type the title in. Blank post lol.

As suggested in the title, today was the day I took my once-in-a-lifetime English oral. Wasn't too bad I suppose. Except I really hate the fact that people take one look at me and say

"Ai, Ian imba oral. Lucky you not before me."
"Huh? You nervous? Come on la."

Guys, look. I can really only speak English. I sound like a sick crow when I speak Chinese, except it's only twice as retarded. Besides, it's not like I'm that good. Y'all really give me too much credit. At best, I'm inconsistent in my performance. And for the actual run, I hit my low point.

Pretty disappointing, I have to admit. Reading was totally off, and the most heart-wrenching (lol exaggeration much?) component in the oral. I figured I didn't want to pee in the middle of the oral examination. (mysteriously, your bladder and kidneys work 3x faster while waiting in line) Big mistake. My mouth was totally dry and my lips were sticking to each other as I was reading.

Result? Slightly off-ish pronunciations. Plus I didn't dare to speak too loudly, for fear the stickiness would somehow be heard. I'd be lucky to push an 11/12.

Picture discussion. Ah how I hate this section. I saw what the other people came up with and I cringed more and more as they discussed about their picture conversation. Died a little inside when I heard Joel say "the picture was taken by a camera set on auto timer, as there is a man who couldn't pose in time." Damn, good one pope-boy. Literally out of the box.

Well, at least I covered all aspects and didn't have any prompting. 10/12 maybe?

Conversation. My favourite area. It's basically, imo, where you can REALLY impress the examiners. The more mature/pragmatic your views are, the better. It's fun if you manage to get them to widen their eyes and nod their heads. Of course I didn't manage that.

Today's topic was about "a time where you participated in a competition". Lucky for me, I have the SYFs to talk about. Plus I managed to bring out VSCO and VSCB's 'rivalry' and how the school favours the band more. (No Wrixon, keep that cleaver. Kun Yi, please stop staring at me like that. It's unsettling.) Then from there it was random bullcrap.

"So is it just about the winning? Is winning important? Or do you play music for different reasons?"

The response I gave was so full of rubbish I had to stop myself from bursting out loud. But it was the only thing I could come up with, and beggars can't be choosers. I'm no toastmaster guys. I'm overrated by y'all.

"Oh of course not. It's not just about winning. I feel performing a song is about sending a message, and it's very important to me. Every song has a different message. It's also about the actual act of performing. I get to be part of the music instead of just listening to it. But yes, like I said, we need to prove ourselves to the school, so winning's important too."

Oh God xD. Looking back, it's seriously funny stuff. What surprised me was that it flowed pretty darned quickly and naturally. Pathological liar? Hope not. Okay but you know, I didn't lie about the performing part. I miss performing on stage and regretted not joining in this year's SYF.

But yeah, I got cut short. Still had one or two points to elaborate on, but my examiners figured it was enough. "Okay. Very good." *Nods head* "You can go now."

Give me a 35 please ):

Y Wednesday, August 15, 2007

8:44 pm

Today's just one of those days. Felt really really unwell and hence I decided to high tail back home. Supposed to attend a Beach Cleanup today, because I fail at helping the community, so I guess that's a fail for my CIP. Well, I think KC will do something about it.

Called my mum, she was kinda annoyed because she was still having her breakfast. XD. A gentle push is all it takes! Everything's negotiable!

Anyway, I went to the nearest GP which my family had been visiting for years. Evidently, his business grew as well. I took a number, 376. Looking up, I saw the number flashing thingy.

NOW SERVING
360

"Mummy, this thing doesn't go in running order does it?"
"Of course it does. Has always been."

1 1/2 hour wait for COLD MEDICATION. Sheesh.

Well anyway, plenty of bed rest was in short order. Should be ready for school tomorrow, and the English oral. Normally I wouldn't say wish me luck, but I'm hoping that the stars align for me tomorrow. Wouldn't hurt to get every bit of help possible.

Y Tuesday, August 14, 2007

11:31 pm

Nope! The ole' rantbox gets a second wind. I miss ranting about stuff; it's somehow different when you type it out as opposed to when ya say it out.

I know, the blog screams emo. But hey, I wanted it to look dark and moody, because like I said, it isn't a -happy- time for most of us Sec 4s. Looks suicidal, but once again no, I'm not an emo.

So why this morbid skin? Hmm. I won't deny I enjoy MCR's music, so I figured "Why not use that really wicked font found in 'The Black Parade'?"

I felt some blood spurts would go pretty okay. Ta-da. Morbid, suicidal. But no, I'm not like that at all! Besides, the song "Blood" is cute. (No no, there's nothing wrong with me. The tune and lyrics are cutesy.)

On to today. Wow Lady Luck really hates me. Yes, I have bad dealings with SBS buses. See, nothing good ever happens there. Ever tried walking briskly in a direction that's opposite of the bus motion? Physics tells you that you'll move pretty quickly in the bus, right?

Well, that did happen. So, in a bid to slow down and get seated, I swung out an arm to grab that black handle thing you find above the cushioned seats.

I missed.

Smack. Shin, meet metal bar.

Yay for a bruise the size of Texas! It hurt like hell, I swear. I literally hugged my wounded leg while rocking back and forth like an idiot. Then there was this whole 'shaking my head and sucking my lips back in agony' thing.

"Ian what's wrong?"

*shakes head*

Stayed for ESPN (Enhanced Study Programme: Nite or NSS - Night Study Scheme) tonight. For the uninitiated, it's a night study scheme which starts at 6.30 and ends at 9.30. Staying till 10.30 is optional. Yes, I screwed my mid-years THAT badly.

Seems like it's all talk and no action? Well hey, I agree too fellows. Not exactly totally oblivious to what goes on around. Still, I have no right to whine about this programme, but not like it's not helping or is a waste of time anyway.

Lucky for me, our very very nice english teacher, Mr. Chong (woot we share surname.) decided to stay back with us ESPN-ers for a trial run of English oral with him. (Stop laughing, sickos.) I waited for about an hour before it was my turn, but I did pretty okay I guess.

Reading was fine, 11/12.
Picture discussion was a total flop. 9-10/12.
Conversation was pretty good. 14/16.
So total it up and ya get 34-35/40.

For those who think "God Ian's an asshole. Those are pretty high and he says okay?" Look at your math/science results then look at mine. Try again. I have to get an A1 for English or I can kiss my sorry arse good bye.

Anyway, KC said I should help my weaker mates, so I figure I might as well list some tips here.

1) Don't lose your head. I'm serious. Not many totally overcome this. If you panic, it's over. It's worse than going into cardiac arrest, because all those detailed points you thought up of while preparing is gonna get flushed down the abyss.

2) Go ahead, exaggerate. (Reading.) No one cares. You're probably not gonna see your examiners again. Ever. Feel free to inject lots of emotions and really wear the character's shoes, even if it sounds forced.

3) Word endings. (Reading.) Pushes 10 to 11, and 11 to 12. The "th" in "THree", "t" in denT etc.

4) For picture discussion, make sure to first fully elaborate on the focus. Don't tell me there's nothing to talk about. There is. Find the obscurest of links and just throw it in, backing it up with pictorial evidence (AFTER you're done with the focus.) Do not forget to describe feelings/opinions. (No such thing as wrong points. Just stupid ones.)

5) Conversation seems to be the pitfall for many, and I'm not consistent in it too. Just keep in mind to deviate from the question. (Yes you read that right. Go off point, but maintain a link.)

Eg. If it's about telling the truth, talk about that and expand on points (define the keywords -Jarrett) without boring the examiner to tears. Then talk about things you SHOULDN'T say. Talk about the importance of knowing what and when to say something. aka Tact. The second part on deviating really, really helps.

6) If you can't spin a water-proof story without batting an eyelid, don't. Examiners can smell the bull from a mile away. You'd score lesser. Best ones are always personal experiences, no matter how short, silly or embarrassing.

7) Treat the examiner like someone who is really genuinely interested in what you think and have to say. Give intelligent, mature and wise responses. Don't expect them to understand how a teenager thinks. Rather, go up to their level and talk about things relevant to them. (DO NOT ATTEMPT IF NOT CONFIDENT/LACKING IN CONTENT.)

8) Lose your head and die.

Hope the above helps at least someone. The majority of them came from KC's oral lessons. Go ahead and add on or comment on any changes you feel should be there. Anyway, I really need a disclaimer for my blog.. makes me seem crazy and suicidal.

EDIT: I actually closed the window without publishing. Thank Science for auto-save.

Y Sunday, August 12, 2007

10:51 pm

Yes? No? I do miss ranting about certain stuff (:

Ooh. It'll come with a new skin and stuff, too. Something darker perhaps. This period of time isn't exactly what I'd classify as enjoyable or joyous.