Y Wednesday, January 17, 2007
5:14 pm
Today, lets talk about exercise.I am convinced, thoroughly, that I'm overweight.It's okay, I knew that a long time ago. The crux of the problem I have is dealing with it.
See, studying is easy. Pay attention in class, do homework, revise the day's work. Done. Extra preparation for when major exams draw close. Have the hunger and desire to score well. Well done. It's the success formula for the top students.
I can't say the same for exercise. Unlike studying, it leaves me drained and in pain. I HATE the feeling of fatigue. I HATE having aching muscles or an aching body. I HATE having feet that kill me.
Every time I decide "Hey it's time to do something about my weight." either of the problems (or new ones) surface. It just hurts. So much.
I wish it were true, honestly, about how exercise makes you feel "better" how you can sleep "better" at night. Bullshit. If anything, I go to bed in misery. Quivering legs, hands whatever. I wake up then next morning in pain. Yes I'll feel better alright, provided someone modified my brain and made me a masochist.
What do I need? Help. Just someone who can tell me why my journey is, if it can be likened to mountain climbing, a ninety degree slope with no foot or hand holds. People tell me I have everything. Screw off, seriously. I'd trade... what do I have to trade that people want? Other than material things, because honestly, your parents can get you those. You won't want to trade parents.
Fuck this.