Y Tuesday, September 26, 2006
6:53 pm
Rant #1. Don't like it? Don't read it.SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD, OR IF THERE IS A BLOODY GOD, GOD.
Went MPCC to study. Fucked up maths. What others understand in a snap, I get in eons. I think I' born stupid. Major Encouraging Factor: I failed my Binomial Test. Like I said. Study, fail. Don't study, fail. At LEAST I KNOW I'll fail if I don't study. I study AND fail it's like a slap to the face. "You're stupid. You lose."
Tried my hardest to study for tomorrow's test on Histograms and shit. Headache. Took an eternity to grasp the basics. Yep, it's an easy chapter, I know. Fuck you.
Librarian came in told us that we were noisy, it was affecting the others. Guess what? I told her to get straight to the bloody point next time. Told this to my mum, she said librarian was being diplomatic. I had a low EQ and she (librarian) a high EQ, this was all work life, in that people can backstab you while patting you on the back and calling you a friend. EQ means emotional quotient by the way. I once THOUGHT I wasn't that bad in the EQ department. Outdone by a bloody librarian. I'm good at nothing. Bloody born loser, that I am.
Thought I would get some comfort and understanding from my mum but NOOOOO. Didn't want to offer me support. Just went on and on about how shocked she was that I replied like that. I retorted and raised my voice. (Yes I did that to my mum. Don't like it? _|_) What did she say? "See, I told you a simple thing and you had to raise your voice and get angry. All I said was the librarian was being diplomatic. She doesn't want others to complain about her."
So I suck at EQ AND MATHS. My other subjects aren't awesome either. English is my best subject, and I'm not even the level's elite in that department. So, I ask, WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOOD AT? Answer: Nothing. Yep. Serious.
MC's good at math, picks up fast from games. Jarrett can maximise study time efficiently, and is good at his studies in general. Not to mention he is rather well-liked and plays well in games. Me? I play games, oh yes. Nope, I'm not even good. My studies? Fucking joke, like I said. So maybe I'm born with above-average language skills. But WHY? Geez. I mean, if I'm good at English, I can type letters for people and earn a minimum salary. If one is good at maths, they get to do all sorts of rocket maths science whizz shit and earn big bucks. Why in hell am good in such a bloody useless department? I'm even limited on swear words damnnit. How many times have I repeated bloody. Shows you how pathetic my English is.
Maybe I can sing? No damn way. It'll be a cold day in hell. Act? Right. Paint? For god's sake, I failed art. Next thing I know, I find out I'm bad at English too. Not gonna be surprised. Sports? LOL. Anyone who knows me knows the fucking answer to that. I tried basketball and I might as well be a tree in the middle of the court.
Bottomline: I'm good at nothing. Fucking waste of oxygen. Oh, and I'm too much of a coward to die. Guess bravery is out of the question too. I hate this world.
EDIT: I just realized something after I posted. I'm not well-liked in school either. Most people think I'm a big asshole cum fat arse. GG for those people who talked behind my back. I know, I know. Maybe I made myself that way in the past. Still, hard to correct the bad impression. Good on all of you who think that way.